Farsideology: Final Exam: Islamic Marital/Divorce Laws

From WikiIslam

Final Exam: Islamic Marital/Divorce Laws

It’s time once again for another Final Exam from Farside. Don’t forget to read the excellent articles on Marriage and Divorce in the debate section of FFI. Good luck and may the force, Allah, God, or Quaoar be with you.

In order to divorce a wife, how many times must a Muslim husband say to his wife the sentence, "I divorce you."? source A) 3 B) 3 C) 3 -- Allah likes prime numbers.

In order to divorce her Muslim husband, how many times must a wife say to her husband the sentence, "I divorce you."? A) one googolplex B) one googolplex C) one googolplex – Allah also likes very big numbers.

One of the major health consequences of childhood pregnancy is the development of a vesicovaginal fistula which is an opening between the vagina and the bladder or between the vagina and the rectum, resulting in the young girl leaking urine or is unable to control defecation. Queston: Why did Allah not reveal this dreaded disease to Muhammad in the Quran? A) Yes, Allah did reveal the disease in the Quran; but Uthman, the third caliph, edited out the relevant verses. B) Allah failed to take a course on Obstetrics & Reproductive Science in medical school. C) Vesicovaginal fistula is in Latin; Allah can only read, write, think, and speak in Arabic.

Did Muhammad know about vesicovaginal fistulas when he had sex with Aisha when she was only nine years old? A) Maybe B) Probably C) YES! Muhammad, the seal of the prophets, knew! But in order to protect Aisha from vesicovaginal fistulas, Allah had to sterilize Muhammad.

When a Muslim husband dies with four surviving wives, what famous phrase do the four wives chant in unison? A) a colossal dumb test question B) Only Allah knows. C) Free at last, thank God, we're free at last!

Polygamy has become an insidious crime against humanity. Farside has found a medical procedure by the ancient Chinese that will cure the polygamist of his lust for more wives. Question: Is this solution for the polygamist fair and just? {You will need to scroll down until you come to the paragraph starting with "When the surgery was about to take place... "} A) Fair & Just B) Highly Ethical C) How can I sign up for the clever Chinese medical procedure?

TheQuran permits a husband to beat his wife for her bad behavior, but a wife can not beat her husband for his bad behavior. This marital law proves that the Quran was written A) in the Twilight Zone by Farside B) in Mordor by the Dark Lord Sauron C) in Arabia by a male chauvinistic pig.

The Quran permits a Muslim to have up to four wives, but how many sex slaves may he possess with his right hand? A) one googolplex B) one googolplex C) one googolplex – Allah loves very big numbers.

Islamic Divorce Laws: 2550 The father and the paternal grandfather of an insane man can divorce his wife. Question: Why did Muhammad never divorce any of his wives? A) His father was not living at the time of his marriages. B) His paternal grandfather was not living at the time of his marriages.

Islamic Divorce Laws: 2520 If a wife who has completed nine years of her age and is not in menopause, is divorced by her husband after sexual intercourse, it is necessary for her to observe the waiting period of divorce. Question: What should happen to the husband? A) The husband should be classified as pedophile. B) The husband should serve a prison term of 30 years for child rape. C) The husband should undergo the clever Chinese operation of test question 6. D) all the above.