Farsideology: Lesson 8 - The Jinn
From WikiIslam
Lesson 8 –Teaching Islam to Children
Teacher speaking: Children, today we will study scientifically the Jinn of Islam using the holy Quran and the Hadiths as source material. From the Quran life on Earth is divided into three major branches – the animal kingdom, the plant kingdom, and the spirit kingdom. The Jinn are a member of the spirit kingdom. After we recite the following verse 20 times (Sunan Abu Dawud Book 1, No. 6), I will lecture on ten characteristics of the Jinn.
Children reciting in unison : The Apostle of Allah said: These privies are frequented by the jinns and devils. So when anyone amongst you goes there, he should say: "I seek refuge in Allah from male and female devils." source
Teacher’s Lecture 
Species name of the Jinn
The word Jinn is an abbreviation for the formal Latin name of Menjinntus. The Jinn are invisible to humans and come in three varieties (source) -- the flying type, 
a type that looks like snakes 
or dogs, 
and a type that stops for a rest then resumes its journey. 
There is a difference between UFO sightings which are inventions of the human mind as compared to the flying Jinn which are creations of Allah. 
Domicile of the Jinn
The Jinn live in holes in the ground 
in which you should never urinate. (source) As a special project for our class, we will dig holes in the school yard this Saturday to provide dwellings for the homeless Jinn. We shall call our project, “ Habitat for Jinn.”
Origin of the Jinn
The Jinn were created from the fire of a scorching wind. (source) The origin of the Jinn has been confirmed over and over by the illustrious scientists of Islam during its golden age which occurred when Europe was still believing in witches 
and ghouls 
in its dark age.
The Killing of a Jinn
To chase away and to kill the Jinn, Allah threw missiles at them. (source) Children, you too can have the sublime satisfaction of killing a Jinn. Turn on your computer. 
Click the web browser icon and go to the web address on the blackboard. Now play the Nimian Flyer Game and kill a Jinn 
for Allah!
Food of the Jinn
Jinn consume bone, dung, and charcoal for nourishment. (source) I can anticipate a question from the class, “Yes, the Jinn did eat grandmother’s bones.” With the advent of sewage treatment plants, a major portion of their diet, human dung, has been eliminated. In order to survive, the Jinn were forced to switch to eating only bone 
and charcoal.
Criminality of the Jinn
The Jinn will steal your food, your water, and your children if you don't keep them under lock and key. (source) If you hear a noise during the night, it's a Jinn trying to break into your house. You should immediately call the police, 
and tell them that you got Jinn problems.
The Religion of the Jinn
The Holy Quran has revealed that Jinn can become Muslims. (source) I have learned from a reliable source that 90 percent of all Muslims who write posts on internet forums are really Jinn. Any forum member whose username contains the four letters 
, 
, 
, and 
must be a Jinn. Take heed, children! Be on the lookout for them!
Damnation of the Jinn
Allah has created many Jinn for Hell (source), but some will enter paradise. Let us take a moment and pray Janazah 
(funeral prayer)
for our school Jinn who died this year.
Sexuality of the Jinn
Jinn and humans can have sex with one another and beget children. This behavior is a frequent occurrence that is well known to many. (source) Sitting next to me is my invisible wife who is a Jinn. We have already begot 5 children. 
The Voyeurism of the Jinn
Children, since the Jinn are invisible to humans, the Jinn are notorious peeping Toms. (source) If you utter the phrase "In the name of Allah" (Bismillah), the Jinn will not be able to see you while you undress or use the restroom. As a class project, we will place the following sign at the entrances to all the restrooms in our school:
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Jinn and Fortune-tellers
The Jinn will whisper future events into the ears of Fortune-tellers. (source) My fortune-teller has revealed to me the winning number for the next week's super lottery. I can now leave this god forsaken job. Class dismissed. 
Homework Assignment
According to the verse below there is a Jinn attached to you right now. Introduce yourself to the Jinn. Be kind to your Jinn. Talk to your Jinn daily. Give your Jinn a name. Write a 1000 word essay describing your relationship with your Jinn. Turn the essay in tomorrow.
Allah's Apostle said: There is none amongst you with whom is not an attached from amongst the Jinn. They said: Allah's Apostle with you too? Thereupon he said: Yes, but Allah helps me against him and so I am safe from his hand and he does not command me but for good. -- Sahih Muslim 6757
Click here to begin your journey to the Farside.
Enjoy
Farside 
. . . Help save the Jinn! Shut down all sewage treatment plants now!
