Farsideology: Lesson 9 - Four Wives

From WikiIslam

Lesson 9 – Teaching Islam to Boys

Teacher speaking: Today class, we will study the place of women in the household. Because of the evil of modernity, it is financially impossible for a devout Muslim husband to maintain four wives in four different dwellings. So he is left with the bleak reality of having four wives living in one house. As we recite verse 4:34 from the holy Quran ten times, let us note that good women should be obedient to their husband and that men are in charge of women.

Children reciting in unison: Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.

Teacher speaking: To take charge of your four wives, you must organize the household under a rigid plan where each wife will know her daily duties. By performing their duties, your wives will be obedient to you and to Allah. Today’s lecture will be a blueprint on how to organize your wives for a successful marriage.

The Organization of the Wives and their Daily Duties

Cleaning The House Duties -- You should choose the wife who would be happy mopping the floors ; washing the windows ; vacuuming the carpets , and cleaning the bathrooms.

However, that wife should not be able to read, or you could have a long wait at the bathroom door.

The Children Duties -- You should choose the wife who gets pleasure feeding the children ; changing diapers ; and sewing clothes . However, that wife must not be possessed by a jinn ; or you could end up with a deviant kid.

The Kitchen Duties -- You should choose the wife who is the best cook. She will cook the meals ; wash the dishes ; and shop at the grocery store

However, that wife must not have any Japanese cooking experience, or you could end up with a ginsu knife in your head.

The Laundry Room Duties -- You should choose the wife who enjoys washing clothes ; ironing clothes ; and hanging and removing garments from a clothes line.

However, that wife must not have psychopathic tendencies or you could end up in the dryer.

Homework Assignment 1. Write the following verse 50 times and recite it 10 times to your sisters.

HADEETH 26. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: "The rights of the husband on the wife are so great that if pus flows on the husband's body and the woman licks it clean, then too his rights will not be fully fulfilled."

2. Ask your sister if she will lick the pus off the body of her future husband.