Farsideology: Mother's Days

From WikiIslam

The Mother’s Days Proclamation of Nevada

Whereas, Muslims living in western nations do not generally celebrate secular holidays such as Mother's Day, the second Sunday in May. I , Kenny C. Guinn, Governor of the State of Nevada, do modify the beloved celebration to accommodate Islamic traditions, and so that all Muslims living in the West may feel that they are now a part of the culture and can participate fully in observing this very special day.

Whereas, a Muslim father with four wives (mothers) and four households would have a very difficult time in commuting to and celebrating with each mother and her children in one day.

Now, therefore, I, Kenny C. Guinn, Governor of the State of Nevada, by virtue of the power invested in me as the chief executive officer of the state proclaim that each mother and her family deserve one, special day set aside for them only, and I declare that the first Sunday in May be reserved for the wife #1, the second Sunday for wife #2, the third Sunday for wife #3, and the last Sunday for wife #4

And do hereby further declare and demand, that all Mother’s day cards must come in four varieties. Salutations such as "Happy Mother's Day #3!" or "We love you mother on this Mother's Day #4!" would be acceptable.

Therefore, be it known that a Muslim father may now fully participate in this secular holiday without incurring the wrath of Allah or a fatwa condemning him to death from his local mullah.

Now, therefore, I, Kenny C. Guinn, Governor of the State of Nevada, do hereby proclaim the four Sundays of May to be known as the

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Islamic Mother’s Days.

Farside’s Commentary: Now you may be thinking, "Does the new religion Farsideology tolerate polygamy?" The answer is a resounding yes, but the polygamist must satisfy one condition. The polygamist must be sensitive to global warming, over population, and the destruction of the environment. In order to receive this benefit of many wives, the polygamist must undergo a simple and quick surgical procedure which will help alleviate global warming and over population. It is his duty to planet Earth and to Allah. The procedure was first done by the ancient and clever Chinese and can be found at the following web site. [You will need to scroll down until you come to the paragraph starting with "When the surgery was about to take place...” (source)

If you are a polygamist, don't wait ! Call your doctor today! Ask your doctor to follow the same surgical procedures of the clever Chinese! Happiness is just a phone call away, and you too can receive the blessing of the Farside.